A child is full of innocent wonder and pure imagination. A child has limitless possibilities and many paths set in front of them. Everything a child does has a purpose to it, everything they say has a reason. A child is truly the essence of purity of purpose. Whatever they say and do isn’t a lie, isn’t sugar coated. Children are blunt and truthful. Every child purely speaks and acts on a purpose, even if adults don’t understand what that purpose is. For a child everything they do is important, every fairy tale they hear, every game they play has a purpose and is fun. They create a pure purpose to little things that adults don’t consider important and meaningful. A child is what purity of purpose is.
Years passed for the girl, she got married and her first child was on the way. Absentmindedly she rubbed her bulging stomach and thought back to when she was still a teenager. The dream she had all those years ago still fresh in her mind. The Portal, The Beast, all of it. She never told anyone other than her husband of her dream. Smiling to herself she spoke softly to her unborn child, "Someday little angel perhaps you will have a similar dream that I had. Hopefully it will help you as it did me. In a way having you is just another Portal opening behind the last. I'm happy with my choices and I hope that you will too my small baby." She looked around the nursery, rocking gently in the rocking chair. She couldn't be happier with her life. She just hoped that her baby will be able to be as happy as she is right now. In a house full of love and warmth.
I remember watching the sunset in the Uintas one night. I remember how the colors of the sky turn from blue to orange then to pink. I remember watching the clouds in the sky and how the sun’s last few rays of light caused the white to turn a darker blue, contrasting with the painted view. I remember how the trees in the distance became black silhouettes and how the green fields began to turn darker with shadows. This was a very beautiful moment. Watching the sun say goodbye for the day to allow the moon to rise and the stars to shine. I remember this moment because it felt like this scene, that was so perfect no recreation can do it justice, was only for my eyes.
Up above you, in the heavens when the sun decides to sleep, stars awaken and beam with joy. Some move across the sky, shooting stars. Looking up as a child you would close your eyes and make a wish on that star. Wanting with your whole being for it to come true. But as an adult you're told that it won’t come true. That it’s only a wish. No star can make it come true. Yet we still find ourselves wishing on that falling star, praying to it as if it was god, to make our dreams come true.
Trapped in the box, the outline of a man presses desperately against the sides. He is a prisoner of war and the enemy trapped him inside the box. At first it wasn’t so bad, he just closed his eyes and waited it out. But as the days dragged on he began to go crazy. The inclosed space taking away any sanity he had. Every minute began to feel like hours. Every hour like weeks. It was chipping away his focus, eating at his very being. The longer he stayed in that little box the more he was losing it. Thoughts of how to escape started to race in his tired mind. He hit, kicked, and pushed at every inch of that box. He tried until his skin broke apart and became raw from the over use. His voice had grown hoarse from his cries and screams of despair. And yet no one came for him, no one told him to be quiet. No one cared. Then one day he stopped. The fighting and the noise. He sat in the silence and waited. Waited for when they came, waited for when the war was over and he could return home to his family. The longer he waited, the skinnier he got, the more he began to pray and to clear his thoughts. The man thought a lot in that tiny box, he had the time to after all. Some thoughts would make him smile, others made him cry silent tears. One day the box opened, light flooded the dark container and the man was forced to shield his eyes. A voice, one of someone he thought he knew, filled his now sensitive ears. It said, “The war was over. It was time to go home. Your torment was over.” The man looked up and cried with joy at the person he saw. It was his brother surrounded by a beautiful white light. The man reached up a skinny arm, with the last strength he had and grasped his brother's hand. The pain and suffering ended. He was safe, and warm, and at peace…...Weeks later the enemy opened the box and inside the man’s corpse lay, streaks from long dried tears stained his dirt filled face and a small smile graced his thin lips.
7 seconds. In 7 seconds a person's whole world can change. In 7 seconds a man could be killed. In 7 seconds a train can crash. In 7 seconds a nuclear attack can happen. In 7 seconds a wife can loose her husband to an illness. In 7 seconds a person’s best friend could betray them. In 7 seconds someone could crash their car. In 7 seconds a child could lose their future because of a mistake. In 7 seconds many horrible things could happen. In 7 seconds a person’s whole world can change. In 7 seconds seconds a mother could hold her newborn child for the first time. In 7 seconds a teenage could get behind the wheel for the first time. In 7 seconds a family could get their first real home. In 7 seconds a couple could say I do. In 7 seconds a child can catch a firefly. In 7 seconds a person can watch the sunset over the ocean. In 7 seconds a diploma can be handed to the student who never thought they would make it. Many things could happen in 7 seconds. What could happen to you?
“One! Two! Three!” The little boy, no more than 7 years old stood in front of a willow tree with his hand covering his baby blue eyes. His sandy blonde hair blows softly in the summer breeze. A small grin spread across his face as he counted “Four! Five! Six!” He was playing hide and seek with his best friend, Gwen, in the beautiful garden that was just behind the manor. Gwen’s father owned the place and the boy’s mother was a maid. It was his turn to be the seeker. “Seven! Eight! Nine!” He pulled his hands away from his eyes and turned around, “Ten! Ready or not here I come!!” The boy took off, through the drape of the willows leaves and scanned the garden. Flowers of every color and species lived here. Bushes were carved carefully into different animals. Trees were groomed to perfection. And in the center sat the large willow tree. The boy looked around and ran in the direction of a pink bow sticking out. He saw the bow move and a girls tiny muffled giggle “You can’t find me!!” The boy giggled and ran through a bush. “I found you!” The little girl looked up from her hiding spot, her honey-dew brown eyes glimmer with excitement. She stood and tackled the boy into a hug, not caring that her pink dress was getting dirty. “Let’s play again!!”
The Thaw, most think of the end of winter and the beginning of spring. Some think of something frozen melting, shedding a colder layer. The Thaw can be seen as so much more than just that, it can be seen as the in between, the transition from death to life. The stages of our own lives, childhood to becoming an adult, the thaw can be used to describe the in between years. The years that help shape and mold the adults we will become. The years that cause our innocence to melt away. The Thaw is where I am at now, where all of us seniors in high school are at and we aren’t coming out of it yet. We still are trying new things, making our own mistakes, finding who we are, and do things to become the person we want to be. The Thaw is who we are right now, we are shedding our innocence ;of the world, shedding the childlike thoughts that anything can be at our beck and call. We are learning that reality is hard and life's a struggle, that we have to live it the best we can. The Thaw is showing us that we aren’t invincible and that not everything will go the way we want it to. And yet the thaw also allows us to keep part of the wide-eyed wonder of a child. The I can conquer the world attitude that seems so readily available to every human being. This is what the thaw is, a small part of our rather large story, but a part so important that without it our lives have no structure.
……..The fall began to quicken but she was then set gently down and in front of her, once more, stood the Beast. His scythe out, it’s sharp blade pointing towards her. His watery voice washed over her, sending chills down her spin. “Time to Face the Beast.” She stared with wide eyes, almost frozen in her spot. With a shaky voice she spoke “What do you mean?” The Beast chuckled and stepped closer to her. “It is time for you to face the Expectations laid out for you.” The Beast raised his scythe and started to charge towards the girl. In her panic she raised her arm to protect her from the deadly blade “I know what they want out of me but I can only do so much! I will do what I can and achieve what I wish even if I have to disappoint some people. It’s my life and I will do what makes me happy!” The blade came down on her arm and shattered. The Beast nods its hooded head “ Very good. Now it time to wake up.” The world around the girl began to fade. Moments later the girl bolted out of bed and looked around. She was back home and it was all a crazy dream. But sometimes it’s the crazy dreams that give you a new outlook on life.
…….She ran through the faded Beast and to the gates but the ground opened up beneath her and she fell. A child’s voice whispers into her mind, “Welcome to the Lost you.” The girl screamed as she fell. Around her nothing but darkness. The child’s voice whispers, “Calm down miss. The fear is causing you to fall faster.” She took a deep breath and tried her hardest to calm down. A few more deep breaths and her descent was now a slow crawl. The child’s voice returned, “ Open your eyes, look around. These are your memories, things you forgot or things that happened when you were a child. These are the past you, the you you lost.” The girl opened her eyes, not knowing when she closed them in the first place. All around in the darkness small orbs of different colors lit up. She reached out and held one ball in her hand. The child whispers, “Peer inside.” The more the girl stared the more she saw images flash into the orb. This one held a memory of when she got her puppy when she was a little girl. She smiled, that dog was her best friend. Looking around she smiled and said “I have changed a lot but each of these things are a part of me. Building me into the person I am today. I may have Lost who I was but I took what I could and became the new me. The past me helped shape the present me. And the me right now will help shape the future me.” The child’s gleeful laugh filled air around her. “You are correct!” The fall began to quicken but she was then set gentle down and in front of her, once more, stood the Beast. His scythe out, it’s sharp blade pointing towards her. His watery voice washed over her, sending chills down her spin. “Time to Face the Beast”.......
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AuthorEmma Schroeder is 17 years old, a senior at Taylorsville High School, and lives in Taylorsville, UT. Archives
November 2015
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